Death of the family dinner? Kiwi families turning to screens at meal times

Kiwi families are increasingly turning to screens during meal times. Photo / Getty Images
The vast majority of Kiwi families no longer sit down to eat dinner together, with many admitting they sit in front of the TV or on mobile devices during meals.
Only 36% of families eat together every night, according to research from meal delivery company My Food Bag with more than two-thirds saying they’re in front of screens instead, compounding concerns about the impact of screen time on developing brains.
And many people in part blame the cost-of-living crisis driving ever busier lives with more time spent working and less time for families.
Lily Henderson, My Food Bag’s nutrition manager, said nearly half of working parents said their hours had increased over the past 12 months.
“The research highlights that family dinners are increasingly becoming a casualty of the challenge to juggle work-life balance experienced by many households across the country.”
Henderson said the research showed many people were having to play catch-up by taking work home after hours, staying late at the office, or working weekends.
The cost of living for the average New Zealand household increased 6.2% in the 12 months to the March 2024 quarter, according to figures released by Stats NZ earlier this year. That has driven record-high hardship withdrawals from KiwiSaver as people balance high interest rates and the rising cost of groceries and power.
Manawatū mum Elizabeth Gray says she tries to ensure the family eats together – without screens – four times a week. She has two children at home – Macy, 13, and Jonty, 11 – and has to balance being a solo working mum with her children’s after-school activities.
“For us, we’ve created that habit and [it] is a ritual – they take turns setting the table and Jonty loves to light candles. We ask each other about our days and it becomes a time of connection.”
Gray, whose two older children have left the nest, says it can be a real juggle – Macy plays rugby some nights and Jonty has swimming practice other nights. And, of course, both kids love their digital devices. Sometimes the conversation is around what the kids have seen on Snapchat or YouTube that day, which Gray says is an effective way of learning about what they are doing online in a non-confrontational manner.
“You can’t ban technology but you can meet your children where they are and open the door for them to share what they are up to – and if they have seen something they are not sure about,” says Gray.
The Ministry of Health provides guidelines for recreational screen time, saying it should be zero for under 2-year-olds, less than an hour a day for children aged 2 to 5, and less than two hours a day for 5 to 17-year-olds.
But alarmed experts last year sounded warnings after University of Otago research revealed Kiwi kids were spending about a third of after-school time on screens. The high rate of screen time was exposing youngsters to cyberbullying, harmful sexualised content and inappropriate advertising for sectors such as alcohol and gambling, the research said.
In July, the New Zealand Medical Journal called for new limits for screen time in schools, after a study found that excessive use of digital technologies was linked to poor physical and mental health. They warned that many children were exceeding the recommended limits during school hours. And last month one expert warned that overuse of devices was leading to ADHD-like behaviours.
The My Food Bag survey found 81% of people felt dinnertime was an important time for family and connection, but 67% of people admitted they had a screen playing while they ate at least some of the time.
Gray says having time away from screens to eat together encourages open conversation but is also about modelling good behaviours. She suggests getting children involved by letting them choose the meal and, when they’re old enough, helping to make it. And, she says, let the kids choose the topics of conversation, which encourages them to embrace dinner as a time for connection.